| Chairman |
| H.M. Satan, Esquire |
| satan @ evilesq.com |
| Barry Lee Levin, Esquire | Joaquin “Jack” Fernandez, Esquire |
| barry @ evilesq.com | jack @ evilesq.com |
| Johnnie Cochran, Esquire | Emanuel S. Heller, Esquire |
| johnnie @ evilesq.com | manny @ evilesq.com |
| Melvin Mouron Belli, Esquire | Robert Kardashian, Esquire |
| mel @ evilesq.com | bob @ evilesq.com |
| Grand Dragoon |
| Evil Est Esquire |
| evil @ evilesq.com |
| President of Vice | Secretary of War |
| Hunter S. Thompson, Esquire | George S. Patton III |
| hunter @ evilesq.com | george @ evilesq.com |
| Chief Trial Counsel | Director of Investigations |
| Oscar Z. Acosta, Esquire | Agent 41 |
| oscar @ evilesq.com | agent41 @ evilesq.com |
| Interrogations Czar | Secretary |
| Dr. Josef Mengele | Evil Est Esquirette |
| joe @ evilesq.com | xoxo @ evilesq.com |
